Post by Genshuku on Oct 5, 2009 18:18:50 GMT -7
What is going on here I don't even: I'm playing Touhoumon, the latest edition as seen on a certain Touhou image board that I won't link to for the safety of my own skin. Find it to enjoy it for yourself, or just look it up to know what's going on in this thread.
More specifically, I'm doing a solo run (excluding HM slaves of course, which will be caught in nice little balls) with Rika, and am narrating it in first person from Rika's perspective. A few things were changed for the sake of entertainment (like what exactly was in that Parcel), and you should know what these changes are. If you don't, shame on you.
WARNING: This lacks any sort of serious theme, if don't like completely unserious then stop reading
CHAPTER 0: Watching TV Leads To Adventure
"And the grand prize of the Touhou League is...a shot at being a main character in the next game, to take the place of one of the existing ones! Or, if you already are one since we encourage EVERYONE to participate, 100,000,000,000 yen for Reimu and the deed to the Scarlet Devil Mansion for Maris--aaahhh!--"
The announcer was cut off by a sudden spray of red and gasping, followed by a flash of several thousand knives (yes in that order), which was then followed by one of those rainbow screens with the high pitched noise that make you want to turn the TV off. I did just that, though not really because of the high pitched noise. I did it for the reason thousands more probably got up: a shot at being a main character (and dethroning Reimu)! (Or, a lot of yen for Reimu so she can finally become a god (like she isn't already, cheater), or the deed to the Scarlet Devil Mansion for Marisa, which was probably not up for grabs anymore, though knowing Marisa, she'd go there anyway.)
The only reason Reimu is still alive in the first place was not because my Evil Eye Sigma was malfunctioning (it does not do that), it's because Reimu was and still is a main character! And so in order to become the main character...I have to beat up everyone on the way to the top before she does!
So, on October 5th, I begin my rei--eh? WHERE DID MY EVIL EYE SIGMA GO?!
....MY FLOWER TANK TOO?!
...Marisa.
I had nothing, nothing, NOTHING against you until now. But now, all I have is this....this TOY TANK. Sure, it can shoot (standard issue white dot danmaku), but come on! Looks like this is gonna be a long trip...
CHAPTER 1: Where the crap is my Flower Tank I don't want to walk with this thing
And so, toy tank in hand, I set foot into the grass, where I was hassled by some guy that happened to know a lot about this league thing. Though I was in a hurry, I decided to listen to the old guy. He told me to be careful.
"I'M RIKA, I DON'T NEED TO BE CAREFUL!"
And I chased him all the way back to his lab (it looked a little silly, with the toy tank and all, where someone was waiting for me, like she expected that I would be there.
Reimu.
So naturally, my first instinct is to try to shoot the heck out of her, but lacking any sort of thing other than a toy tank not to mention little practice with it, she utterly destroyed me. However, around that time, the Scarlet Devil's maid showed up (not a spot of red on her), and proceeded to beat her up, then left without a word.
To this day, I still wonder just what went on there. But hey, she was out of the picture....well, I tried to shoot her when she was down, but then she got up and ran away. Coward.
I then proceeded to rob the old man of some of his belongings (I couldn't carry them all, he had tons of things worth taking), since this was obviously a trap set by Reimu in the first place. Moving along, I met some guy that said he worked at a 'KirisameMart'. I proceeded to rob him of a potion (it's all he had on him, it's some sort of omnipotent healing device) in response to Marisa's stealing of my tanks, then continued along, where I shot at a random cat that got in the way. It was probably called 'Cheeeeeeeen', as that's the loud scream I heard in the distance, moments after I shot it into the sky.
I continued to move along, steamrolling everything in my path until I got to this old man. My first thought was to shoot him for not getting out of the way, but then he started making the most annoying screeching noise I had ever heard in my entire life. I tried to go past him anyway, but he then put up some sort of barrier and continued that horrible sound, so I was forced to flee for my sanity. I ended up at the Kirisame Mart, where the owner of that particular one (it must be a chain) asked if I came from...where I was from. Wondering why, I decided to say yes, where I was then told to deliver something to him. I took it, said I would, and decided to check to see what was in it.
....UNZAN x GENJI?!
Well, this was perfect blackmail material, so I put it back in the packaging and delivered it to him. There was two of these horrible things, so I kept one and gave the other to him so that he knows what I have. Now scared for his reputation, he gave me some weird handheld device (it's a high-tech encyclopedia, he says it's called the Ayanote) and 5 weird balls which look rather nice but seem to have little other use, but looked high-tech enough to keep.
Well, I certainly wasn't coming back here, so I decided to ransack the house right next to me. It had a map, could be useful. I then went back to the place I had gone to before, shooting the cat that got in my way again. It got up as I walked away, so I shot it dead again. More cries of 'CHEEEEEEN' were heard, as I got out of the area.
I was running low on ammo, and I had no idea where to restock. I was rather surprised that the Eirin Center had ammo for this...thing, but hey, they did. I took some (they said it was free of charge, surprisingly), and continued to go the direction I was trying to before to see if that old man quit yet. It seemed like he finally did (coffee must work wonders), but now he's just not shutting up. After a few minutes of talking (I dared not try to flee), he saw the Ayanote thing that I had gotten. Really, I had no idea what it was supposed to be, but he said I was working on it so I just went with it. He then told me what it did, then started talking about catching people.
Well, I wanted some slaves for future use, so I decided to listen. He turned around and suddenly the local 9-Ball was there. He proceeded to throw an orb identical at it, and the orb proceeded to suck her up. It then wiggled a bit, then clicked.
Afterward, he gave me a TV.
I threw it at him (he expects me to carry this around!), and ran ahead, to the For--erm, Viridian Forest.
Progress:
Left Homewithout tanks
Harassed byan old pervert Oak
Got a Starter (I couldn't make it Rika so Sakuya was picked to make the rival pick Reimu)
Had the fight (Sakuya to the random rescue I guess)
Robbed Got the free potion
Beat up a Cheeeeeeeeeeeeen
Stopped by thesuper powered old man
Got Oak's Parcelwhich contained the best pairing of all time
Blackmailed Oak with the doujins Delivered Parcel, got Ayanote and 5 Pokeballs
Beat up Cheeeeen twice
Reloaded Healed at Eirin Center
Harassed by old man, now with less super powers, and learned the basic art of enslaving people with help of a 9 Went through the old man routine
Threw away a TV at old man Got a Teachy TV which I'll never use again
More specifically, I'm doing a solo run (excluding HM slaves of course, which will be caught in nice little balls) with Rika, and am narrating it in first person from Rika's perspective. A few things were changed for the sake of entertainment (like what exactly was in that Parcel), and you should know what these changes are. If you don't, shame on you.
WARNING: This lacks any sort of serious theme, if don't like completely unserious then stop reading
CHAPTER 0: Watching TV Leads To Adventure
"And the grand prize of the Touhou League is...a shot at being a main character in the next game, to take the place of one of the existing ones! Or, if you already are one since we encourage EVERYONE to participate, 100,000,000,000 yen for Reimu and the deed to the Scarlet Devil Mansion for Maris--aaahhh!--"
The announcer was cut off by a sudden spray of red and gasping, followed by a flash of several thousand knives (yes in that order), which was then followed by one of those rainbow screens with the high pitched noise that make you want to turn the TV off. I did just that, though not really because of the high pitched noise. I did it for the reason thousands more probably got up: a shot at being a main character (and dethroning Reimu)! (Or, a lot of yen for Reimu so she can finally become a god (like she isn't already, cheater), or the deed to the Scarlet Devil Mansion for Marisa, which was probably not up for grabs anymore, though knowing Marisa, she'd go there anyway.)
The only reason Reimu is still alive in the first place was not because my Evil Eye Sigma was malfunctioning (it does not do that), it's because Reimu was and still is a main character! And so in order to become the main character...I have to beat up everyone on the way to the top before she does!
So, on October 5th, I begin my rei--eh? WHERE DID MY EVIL EYE SIGMA GO?!
....MY FLOWER TANK TOO?!
...Marisa.
I had nothing, nothing, NOTHING against you until now. But now, all I have is this....this TOY TANK. Sure, it can shoot (standard issue white dot danmaku), but come on! Looks like this is gonna be a long trip...
CHAPTER 1: Where the crap is my Flower Tank I don't want to walk with this thing
And so, toy tank in hand, I set foot into the grass, where I was hassled by some guy that happened to know a lot about this league thing. Though I was in a hurry, I decided to listen to the old guy. He told me to be careful.
"I'M RIKA, I DON'T NEED TO BE CAREFUL!"
And I chased him all the way back to his lab (it looked a little silly, with the toy tank and all, where someone was waiting for me, like she expected that I would be there.
Reimu.
So naturally, my first instinct is to try to shoot the heck out of her, but lacking any sort of thing other than a toy tank not to mention little practice with it, she utterly destroyed me. However, around that time, the Scarlet Devil's maid showed up (not a spot of red on her), and proceeded to beat her up, then left without a word.
To this day, I still wonder just what went on there. But hey, she was out of the picture....well, I tried to shoot her when she was down, but then she got up and ran away. Coward.
I then proceeded to rob the old man of some of his belongings (I couldn't carry them all, he had tons of things worth taking), since this was obviously a trap set by Reimu in the first place. Moving along, I met some guy that said he worked at a 'KirisameMart'. I proceeded to rob him of a potion (it's all he had on him, it's some sort of omnipotent healing device) in response to Marisa's stealing of my tanks, then continued along, where I shot at a random cat that got in the way. It was probably called 'Cheeeeeeeen', as that's the loud scream I heard in the distance, moments after I shot it into the sky.
I continued to move along, steamrolling everything in my path until I got to this old man. My first thought was to shoot him for not getting out of the way, but then he started making the most annoying screeching noise I had ever heard in my entire life. I tried to go past him anyway, but he then put up some sort of barrier and continued that horrible sound, so I was forced to flee for my sanity. I ended up at the Kirisame Mart, where the owner of that particular one (it must be a chain) asked if I came from...where I was from. Wondering why, I decided to say yes, where I was then told to deliver something to him. I took it, said I would, and decided to check to see what was in it.
....UNZAN x GENJI?!
Well, this was perfect blackmail material, so I put it back in the packaging and delivered it to him. There was two of these horrible things, so I kept one and gave the other to him so that he knows what I have. Now scared for his reputation, he gave me some weird handheld device (it's a high-tech encyclopedia, he says it's called the Ayanote) and 5 weird balls which look rather nice but seem to have little other use, but looked high-tech enough to keep.
Well, I certainly wasn't coming back here, so I decided to ransack the house right next to me. It had a map, could be useful. I then went back to the place I had gone to before, shooting the cat that got in my way again. It got up as I walked away, so I shot it dead again. More cries of 'CHEEEEEEN' were heard, as I got out of the area.
I was running low on ammo, and I had no idea where to restock. I was rather surprised that the Eirin Center had ammo for this...thing, but hey, they did. I took some (they said it was free of charge, surprisingly), and continued to go the direction I was trying to before to see if that old man quit yet. It seemed like he finally did (coffee must work wonders), but now he's just not shutting up. After a few minutes of talking (I dared not try to flee), he saw the Ayanote thing that I had gotten. Really, I had no idea what it was supposed to be, but he said I was working on it so I just went with it. He then told me what it did, then started talking about catching people.
Well, I wanted some slaves for future use, so I decided to listen. He turned around and suddenly the local 9-Ball was there. He proceeded to throw an orb identical at it, and the orb proceeded to suck her up. It then wiggled a bit, then clicked.
Afterward, he gave me a TV.
I threw it at him (he expects me to carry this around!), and ran ahead, to the For--erm, Viridian Forest.
Progress:
Left Home
Harassed by
Got a Starter (I couldn't make it Rika so Sakuya was picked to make the rival pick Reimu)
Had the fight (Sakuya to the random rescue I guess)
Beat up a Che
Stopped by the
Got Oak's Parcel
Beat up Che
