Katriance Windwaker (redone)

[Schala]

Name: Katriance Windwaker

Nicknames/Titles: Katri

Age: Immortal

Age Appearance: 16

Race: Goddess

Gender: Female

Appearance: Here

• Height: 5’6”
  
• Weight: 124 lb
  
• Skin: Fair
  
• Hair: Lavender
  
• Eyes: Amber
  
• Build: Slim
  
• Clothing: Pictured above
  
• Distinguishing Features: I emit a faint blue glow
  
• Other:

Personality:

• Positive Traits
  
  • Caring
    
  • Determined
    
  • Brave
    
  • Honest
    
  • Clever
  
  
• Negative Traits
  
  • Bossy
    
  • Paranoid
    
  • Argumentative
    
  • Nosy
    
  • I don’t really listen to reason
  
  
• Likes
  
  • Fair weather
    
  • Flying for fun
    
  • Defending the innocent
  
  
• Dislikes
  
  • Evildoers
    
  • Being told I’m wrong
    
  • Being discouraged
  
  
• Fears
  
  • Nerys taking over Gensokyo
    
  • Losing Aliana, my adopted sister
  
  
• Desires
  
  • Stop Nerys
    
  • Resolve human/youkai conflicts
  
  
• Habits and Quirks
  
  • I’m protective, often overprotective of those I care about
    
  • I have a knack for heroism, if I see someone in trouble I aid them
    
  • I tend to avoid scary-looking places when I’m not rushing in one to stop some evil scheme

Abilities and Fighting Style:

• Magical Abilities:
  
  • As a goddess, my magic is pretty powerful. My main ability is called Rising Water, and it involves two huge waterfalls rising up from the ground and going toward my target. It can be dodged though.
    
    I also have the ability to make illusions; making things that aren’t really there appear or else making something or someone that is there invisible or look someone different. They only affect one’s sight, not other senses.
    
    My sword also has some magical ability. It does not wound those it hits, instead it makes the target think and feel as though time has stopped. Everything and everyone they see looks like it’s frozen in place, and they feel as if they too are pinned to the spot. If they try to move however, they will be able to and the illusion will stop. After about a minute it stops on its own.
  
  
• Physical abilities:
  
  • I have a sword that glows light blue, and I’m pretty good with handling it.
    
    Also, being a god, I'm pretty strong, so it's not easy to knock me out.
  
  
• Weapons:
  
  • Above mentioned sword
  
  
• Fighting style:
  I usually don’t fight. The circumstances in which I do are either when I’m defending other people or if someone attacks me. Otherwise I hang back.
  
  When I do fight, I only attack if I'm being targeted or need to defend someone else. I rarely use my sword, mostly Rising Water. If my side is losing, my main concern is to get others to safety.
  
• Strengths
  
  • Strong
    
  • Speedy flier
    
  • Powerful magic
  
  
• Weaknesses
  
  • When I fight, I don't really concentrate on what my opponent is doing
    
  • I'm a bit of an easy target since I'm always the protector
    
  • Easily provoked into fighting by harm to the innocent

History:

I am the sixth of seven sisters. We are known as the Spirits of Time and we came into the world at the beginning, when most gods do. My oldest sister, Zeal, said we were supposed to watch over the multiverse, but that meant we were confined to our godly dimension, and I wanted to go somewhere else. I was afraid to, however, because of Zeal. Then one day I tried to sneak out and was caught. Zeal told me that if I left she would take away my ability to teleport and jump dimensions, but I didn’t care, so I landed in Gensokyo before its sealing, and I’m basically stuck here.

I found a lake near the Forest of Magic with a small island in the middle of it. Here I built a small palace, which is really nothing compared to that chaos goddess’s place. I knew that humans and youkai were constantly in conflict, so I tried to keep it down. I stopped attacks on both sides whenever I could, though I was not always successful. Then Gensokyo was sealed off from the rest of the world which made it easier, seeing as I couldn’t really keep up trying to get vicious youkai not to cross the present-day border.

After the sealing I knew there was no way getting back to my sisters, so I wandered for a while looking for disasters that needed undoing. Problem was I found so few that I even considered going to the Shrine Maiden of that time, who was one of Reimu's ancestors, and asking her to stop fighting youkai. Then I heard that she was really powerful and unbeatable, so I decided against it. From what I've heard, Reimu seems to have inherited the power so I never actually met her or her ancestors.

Many years later, a woman called Nerys, who claimed to lead a group known as the Fallen Sages, tried to claim Gensokyo’s power for herself. I couldn’t let her, so I sealed her in this ominous temple thing that she built, but she recently escaped. What she did next was the most horrible thing I had heard of yet.

Nerys’s group attacked a ninja clan known as Sai. Most of them were killed, and a young man called Ren Sasaki and his sister were the only survivors, only Ren didn’t know where his sister was. We met in the Forest of Magic. He asked about Nerys and was mad that I didn’t kill her when I had the chance. He wanted to get revenge on her. I told him that wasn’t wise, but he didn’t listen.

On the way back to my palace, I saw a shivering young ocarina youkai, who looked and acted no older than 7. She had recently gone youkai and had no family of her own, so I took her in as an adopted younger sister and named her Aliana.

[Kitten4u]

-That weight is really heavy for a slim girl of her height. 123 - 128 is probably closer to what you're looking for.

-Last positive trait isn't really a trait.

-All of the negative traits need to be fixed. Do not downplay your negative traits, they are a good thing. Only the last one is really acceptable.

-Nerys plot needs to die I'll get back to you on this later.

-I need more on abilities.

-And fighting style.

-Strengths and weaknesses MUST relate to how she fights. Personality stuff is covered in the personality section after all.

-History needs more meat.

[Schala]

Fixed. Also I think your ideal ending to the plot is acceptable

[Genshuku]

OK, she's immortal. How long was she alive?

...The hair doesn't look lavender. It's supposed to be lavender, but it isn't. You should make a note of this.

That last positive trait is REALLY hard to pull off, and it's more of a skill than a trait anyway.

Katriance likes Flyff

As for Dislikes, evildoers doesn't explain much. It would be good if you defined what evil was, for a better explanation. EX: Instead of evildoers, say people that threaten the well-being of Gensokyo.

As for the first fear, why be so specific with Nerys? If someone like...well, Yokoshima, that ??? person, Jamie, ect took over Gensokyo, I bet she would fear that too. Same with desires.

Third quirk messes with the third positive trait. Explain the quirk more.

Why not talk about the sword in the weapons section? It's a weapon, after all, not a physical ability.

Need more on fighting style. 1st sentence explains how you avoid fighting, which isn't a part of the style, 2nd sentence explains what everyone does when they fight so it's not much, 3rd sentence is the only direct fighting style sentence at all, and the 4th is ...well, OK.

Weaknesses.

If she doesn't concentrate, what happens? Even if you think it should be obvious, explain it.

If she's always the protector, it means she's the wall, and less people on her team are getting hurt. Giving that she's hard to knock out, that's a strength when partying with others, which you will clearly be doing.

Last weakness is more like a negative trait.

About the history: If you're watching anywhere around the multiverse, it's under it. Which might be important too. Matter of fact, you would get a reason not to be in the Nerys plot, as the multiverse is somewhat stirring right now bonus Kaosu plot points.

I'm fine with the Reimu's ancestor bit, because there wasn't enough direct involvement. so you're safe there.

Nice temple Nerys. :V